DELIRIOUSLY DETACHED: Adjusting the Disconnect Within and Outside Ourselves

I would hope that most of us are aware of the damaging effects the Internet is having on our society and on us as individuals. Always being “plugged in” electronically means that we are destroying our ability to communicate and genuinely connect with each other, and we are decimating our souls in the process. Just last week I read a blog post by Mars Dorian where he talks about how he held a MeetUp for bloggers the previous week. What he describes next actually shocked me:

“More than a hundred people attended, but they were chatting the entire time the speaker was talking. The audience was rude, but not because of a lack of respect; it’s simply that the smartphone age has decimated their attention span. Even afterwards, when I was talking to startup entrepreneurs, I found they could barely focus on my face, bewitched by the nagging impulse to check their iPhones.

Like me, you have probably experienced this recently yourself. Does the following scene sound familiar? You go out with friends for lunch/dinner/drinks, excited to see them again to spend time catching up on each other’s lives. Just the mere thought of it brings you joy! Then there it is: that incessant mobile phone-checking behavior that goes on the entire time you’re together. Doesn’t this make you feel under-valued, unappreciated, and……. disconnected? Wait a second – once you think about it you realize you’re a part of the problem because guess what? You are doing it too (and so am I).

When we have arrived at a point in our society where as Mars Dorian noted, we cannot carry on a conversation with another human being without feeling a “nagging impulse” to check our phones, we have a serious problem. Improving or resolving this problem starts with each one of us. Before we can begin to reconnect with other individuals we must first start the process within ourselves. Our slogan at Blueprint for Changes is “Change Yourself. Change Your World” not “Change Your World. Change Yourself.” (for very good reasons).

The Real Behavioral Problem Masked as a Symptom

Let me explain to you what is really going on here. Our society (North American culture particularly) is based on chemical stimulations that occur in our brains. The strengthening of these chemical stimulations is created as a result of engaging in repetitive behaviors over a period of time. What occurs as a response to the continuation of repetitive behaviors is a “feeling” and this feeling is what we refer to as an emotional addiction. Researcher Dr. Joe Dispenza states that, “An addiction is something you can’t stop. If you can’t control your emotional state, you must be addicted to it.” More often than not, we unknowingly create situations that meet our chemical needs – our emotional addictions. Each one of us has emotional addictions that can include but are not limited to: fear, anger, sadness, avoidance/procrastination, or even making poor choices in life partners. Yes, you can even be like me – addicted to a specific type of person. If you take a moment to think about it, chances are you can find examples of situations where you sought out situations to feed your emotional addiction, thereby reinforcing the chemical stimulation and the emotional addiction itself.

How Blueprint for Changes Addresses Disconnection

Do you feel that if you stop doing something, especially something that provided stimulation, you must replace it with something else? Switching to a new addiction will probably feel better than stopping. You’ll see it present everywhere: television, video games, movies, the internet, smartphones, advertising, music, and professional sports to name a few. Stimulation is everywhere. In our modern society, teachers are encouraged to stimulate and almost even entertain school children to keep their attention. Unfortunately, decreasing stimulation is a losing battle because our children are surrounded with continual stimulation before and after school from video games, television, the Internet, and smart phones and their apps. A child who grows up in this environment grows into an adult who’s addicted to chemical stimulation every minute because that’s all they know.

Just about everyone states that they want a more peaceful life, but we neglect to see the relationship that social media, video games, smartphones and television have in taking us away from the very state we long for. Basically, we are our own worst hypocrites; our actions are the opposite of what we say we want. Have you noticed that when you try to sit still you get this antsy sensation where you feel like you have to get up and do something (e.g. check your cell phone)?! This is another sign of an addiction to chemical stimulation. This is also an avoidance of peace and contentment because peace is non-addicting.

The Blueprint for Changes program addresses disconnection that is caused by chemical stimulations by utilizing a symbol combined with two sound files: one is audible and the other is silent. The silent sound file works on the subconscious brain structures that in the past, have been problematic. The sound files stimulate these brain structures and to put it simplistically, makes them more flexible. As a result, the brain starts to slow down and relax. Over time (on average, a number of weeks) when our brain relaxes, our old (former) structures are compelled to provide us with options we didn’t previously have access to. Let me give you a real-life example: I used to make choices in life partners that weren’t a good match for me. Each time the individual would be emotionally abusive and highly emotionally unavailable. This would ultimately deplete my self-confidence, lower my self-esteem and increase my feelings of unworthiness. Once I came to an awareness that I was choosing men that weren’t good for me, I started to make different choices right? Wrong! In many cases of emotional addictions, no amount of awareness causes us to make different (and better) choices because the emotional addiction that has been caused by chemical stimulation is deeply ingrained and well-established.

Since using the Blueprint for Changes program I can say with confidence that I have been able to successfully (and pretty much effortlessly) change my most destructive emotional addiction. There have been other unexpected “changes” as well including my ability to better connect with adults AND children. I invite you to experience real and long-lasting change in your life too! When you do, please email us and share your successes with us. You can contact us at

Change Yourself. Change Your World.


  1. Donna Vernon July 30, 2016 Reply

    I know. Right?
    We long for peace. We long for love. But, we have erected electronic barriers all around us. There isn’t one place where people are, that you don’t hear an incessant electronic hum, as well as a cacaphony of noise not found in nature. How on earth are we supposed to connect? How could we possibly express love and caring when it’s something we can barely feel any more? How can love and caring be received when we hardly even seem wired for our most primal survival function? Do I sound upset? You bet I am! Love. Caring. I want that for me. Giving and receiving. Deeply. I want that for all of us!

  2. Angela Morgan October 31, 2016 Reply

    I was recently attending some seminars in Orlando and much to my dismay many of the people in the meetings were looking at their phones and texting. It was very annoying and I thought, rude.
    It is so true that we are are using technology in such a way that while it has opened lines of communication around the world it has also created detachment as people choose technology over personal contact.
    A periodic technology detox is needed. Walk the beach and turn your phone off. Go out to dinner and leave your phone in the car. Take a tech vacation. This is something I need to do. There is peace. Turn off the tech and find it in your breath, the sound of the waves crashing on the beach, the birds singing, the gentle breeze, the crackle of a fire. Tune into it.

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